To continue briefly in yesterday’s line of discussion (last time, I promise!), here is a short video from the grand opening of the first Microsoft retail store. Look familiar? Lets just say, ‘case and point’.

(Can’t see it? Watch the video at YouTube)

If you read my blog, even on a semi-regular basis, you know I’ve gone on rants about this before. I’ll probably end up repeating myself here too. But in the discussion about things that have been stupidly Christianized, it would be a travesty to leave out this moronic nugget of our church culture.

Retail Stores

Shortly after becoming a Christian, I took a job at a local Christian bookshop. It was among the most defining times as a Christian thus far. Day in, day out, I became well acquainted with the types of inventories that came in. I even got to know some of the distributor’s sales people in the process. What I learned wasn’t pretty.

Much like the Christian music industry, Christian retailers (the truly corporate ones, anyway) create a false sense of security in their patrons minds. It’s the sense that the inventory is ‘safe’. That somehow, the products that are carried have an intrinsic spiritually enriching quality to them. In fact, from a purely business standpoint, it’s quite a brilliant scheme.

However, the reality is, the business isn’t too unlike any other retail store. They stock what will sell… to Christians. And, unfortunately, since the majority of Christians are poorly versed in basic theology, what will sell is pretty much anything with a bible verse printed on it.

Bibles

Most of the Christian retails shops I’ve been in have carefully nestled the bible selection, (which isn’t even much more extensive than what you’ll find at Borders), in the back of the store. Forcing customers to walk past a great deal of impulse buy items. Things virtually no one needs and, in fact, would probably be better off without. As an employee, I can attest that these items sell a lot more frequently than you’d think.

When you finally do get to the Bibles, they’re usually 10-20% more than they are at secular retailers.

Then, there’s the bible covers. The selection is nearly as big as the bibles themselves. And so is the price. With the exception of a place to keep you pen, I still don’t see the value in these things. In fact, from my experience with people, Bible covers actually seem to inadvertently discourage the reading of the bible outside of formal settings—like bible study, or Sunday morning services. Of course, it’s not true for everyone. But it sure seems like there’s a correlation. Maybe not.

Greeting Cards

I don’t get this. The church should be about personal investment in each others lives. If I’m going to encourage a brother with something written, I’d want to write it myself. And if someone wanted to encourage me, I’d want it to come from them.

But the whole Christian greeting card thing seems to be exactly the opposite concept. Rather than Christians being moved by scripture that comes about in their private meditation, and passing those encouraging words on to brothers and sisters, the burden is passed onto the greeting card publishers. Little fortune-cookie bits of scripture, mass printed onto little 4×6 inch cards to cover a variety of situations.

People barely have to think about God’s word and barely have to think about each other. Just grab a card and pay (too much) for it.

Self-Help & Leadership

Bigger than even the Bible commentary selection is usually the self help and/or leadership section. Make no mistakes. I’m not mislabeling these books. They really are self-help books. Weigh loss, confidence, organization, parenting. They’re all there. Most of us would have difficulty picking these out as ‘Christian’ resources if it weren’t for the cover and an (out-of-context) bible verse or two.

Leadership is another big deal. And not just church leadership either. All kinds of leadership. I remember reading one of these books as part of a church internship I did years ago. Let me tell you, there was virtually nothing of any real spiritual value in there. Flipping through quite a lot of those books during my stay at the Christian bookshop I feel fairly confident in my assertion that this isn’t uncommon.

In fact, the methods of leadership they promote, I think, are methods that are pretty much absent from scripture. Instead, I think these methods tend to build rigid hierarchies among brothers and sisters, which ultimately stunts spiritual growth and bolsters pride in the ‘leaders’ exercising them.

Knick-knacks & Gifts

Gum. Candy. Stuffed animals. Soap. Plaques. Paintings. “Artwork”. Figurines. Lotions. The list could go on.

Most of this is the epitome of junk. Things that will inevitably end up in the attic or at the thrift store. Occasionally, the plaques may have something truly inspirational on them. But most of them are out of context or borderline arrogant to place on your wall.

Is gum or candy with a a bible verse on it really better in some way than snickers or skittles? And, is it really worth spending, literally, three times as much on? No of course not. Especially since most of these don’t even seem to support any kind of worthy organization.

The children’s toys are borderline offensive, too. I remember receiving a huge shipment of stuffed animals—lambs. They were bright white and super soft. They each had a little heart on them reading “God’s Little Lamb”. You might say, “Now wait a minute, that’s perfectly biblical”. Yeah, except for how damn cute they were. The biblical imagery of God’s Lamb is a grotesque and painful one. It’s a reminder that we are sinful to our core and that we are covered in that lambs blood.

In fact, I think the only real value in this type of thing is during the holidays, when people may wish to decorate their home. These are the only place you can usually find strongly religiously oriented decorations. But even these are often misguided.

In Conclusion

I strongly believe these stores do harm to the church. Whether it be in reinforcing negative stereotypes about the church, or by numbing our spiritual senses, allowing a corporate entity to do the thinking for us.

There are alternatives to Christian retailers. Borders and Barnes & Noble stores generally carry most of the same literature—often times for cheaper. But even better than that, Amazon.com’s used marketplace is safe and usually has a selection of just about everything their Christian counterparts do, usually for a fraction of the cost. (For example, I purchased John Piper’s Desiring God used from Amazon for 1/4th the cost of buying it from the local Christian retailer—even with shipping).

Some may object on the grounds that the markup on Christian material is routed to various ministries. This is usually just not true. Especially considering Zondervan is the maker of a huge amount of Christian merchandise. And Zondervan is absolutely a for-profit organization.

So, my advice, avoid Christian retailers as much as possible. Save money by buying online and set the extra cash aside and give it to your local church, missionaries or organizations you feel compelled to support.

But whatever you do, just don’t get sucked into this monster.