So, just two days after visiting the veterinarian with my dog, Mikey, so that we could continue to frequent the local dog park to meet and converse with other dog owners, it would appear that the park has been deserted.

Both yesterday and today at the park, we sat for nearly an hour during which no one was to be found. Now there’s irony for you. Perhaps the other owners weren’t as thrilled about our presence as we were.

During the first big snow storm this year, I found a small terrier-mix dog with no collar. Clearly trained, well behaved and house-broken, it was clear the dog belonged to someone. But he didn’t have a collar or a microchip. After several weeks combing the local shelters and looking for street signs for lost dogs, it was clear his owners weren’t going to turn up. So, I took him in and named him Mikey.

This last week, I’ve spent about an hour every morning taking Mikey to the local dog park to let him run around and work off some energy.

I am amazed at how naturally the community of dog owners develops. Each morning I’ve had the chance to engage in actual conversation with other dog owners. While the conversations begin with our mutual interest in our pets, they have consistently moved into more meaningful areas of politics, life and even faith.

Yesterday, after being there for about an hour and while in a conversation with a couple of other dog owners, the animal control officer showed up and informed me that Mikey needed to be registered and tagged with the county. Then he threw us out of the park. I probably would have just stopped going to the dog park. But having already had many great conversations there, I immediately took Mikey to the veterinarian and got him checked up, vaccinated and registered so that we could go back today.

I never imagined Mikey and the dog park would become such a great source for meeting new people and engaging in conversations with believers and the lost. But now, I can’t wait to see what God might do with those relational opportunities.

My assumptions and criticisms of being a dog owner are being challenged in ways I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years. I think that’s pretty damn cool.

My birthday passed recently. No, I won’t say exactly when. And It’s no secret, I don’t like them. Well, not all birthdays. Just not mine. I don’t like that kind of attention. This however seems to be something people can’t stand about me, and instead insist on finding a way to make a big deal out of it.

But I suppose at the end of the day I appreciate that people care, even if it is unbelievably annoying.

Well, since my friends and family seem to be full of wise-cracks over my disdain for birthdays, I thought I’d share the birthday cards I received from them. Don’t worry, there’s only two.

This one comes from my friend Amy who sarcastically struck out her “happy birthday” message.

If you read this blog often, you’ll also know that I absolutely loath children’s television. Especially Miley Cyrus. Well, not as a person. Just as a role model for my 10 year old niece. Well, I suppose based on that, my family seemed to think this card was perfect for me.

It’s the final day of 2009. Normally I wait too long to post my best-of lists and reflections on the year gone by. But this year, with a bit more preparation, I’ll reflect now while there are still a few hours left of the 21st centuries first decade.

So, here we go. A shotgun blast of my reflections on 2009.

Movies

I think 2009 was a good year for movies. I spent less money and time at the movie theater and instead was more careful in choosing what to spend my money on. That been said, however, I still directed most of my viewing to Hollywood blockbusters and less pursing independent works. Here were some of my favorites.

Other Notable Movies: Although I wouldn’t put them at the top of the list, there were a number of other movies I really enjoyed. The Watchmen, Terminator Salvation, District 9, Zombieland, The Road and I Love You Man were all really stellar flicks that I have every intention of watching again.

Movies I really hated: There were of course a couple moves I absolutely hated and wish I could get my 9 bucks back on. Most noteably, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Public Enemies—which had my hopes high and severely let me down.

Music

I love looking for new music. In 2009 I discovered the extreme usefulness of Last.fm in this endeavor. Their tagging system allows you to find music based on abstract ideas, like a word or feeling. Just try searching Last.fm for the word ‘happy’ and you’ll know what I mean.

Here are a few my notable discoveries from 2009.

1. Mika: Awkward, theatrical and painfully catchy pop-music from Europe. Mika is my favorite of the new music I’ve found, with what seems like an endless stream of addictive, well written music.

2. Iron & Wine: Okay, not new. But it was in 2009 that I finally developed a taste for Iron & Wine’s particular brand of slow-folk-rock.

3. Cinema Rock: Groups such as Corner Stone Cues, ES Posthumas and Globus were discovered in 2009 and I’ve fallen in love. Music that sounds like it should be in a movie, but is never officially attached to any particular theatrical release is right up my ally.

4. Rosie Thomas: In close collaboration with Sufjan Stevens, Rosie Thomas’s album These Friends of Mine is beautiful. It’s difficult to decide whether it’s solemn or simply melancholy, but either way it’s one of my new favorites. Especially worth checking out is her duet with Stevens titled Say Hello.

5. Damien Rice: Not a new name, but prior to this year, I’d never given him much attention. Damien Rice’s albums 9 and 0 are sweet and sad set on the backs of catchy, slow melodies, it’s a wonder I didn’t find him sooner.

Other Notable Music Stuff: I also rediscovered my love for the work of Pedro the Lion, Bright Eyes and The Rocket Summer.

TV Shows

I’ve spent more time watching TV shows this year that I normally have. In 2009, I watched the entire Friends television series, finally saw Freaks & Geeks, Entourage and It’s Always Sunny in Philedalphia.

But two stand out as most notable shows.

Business

In 2009, Petruzzo Photography finally began to blossom. I shot nearly three times as many weddings in 2009 as I’d shot in my entire career leading up to that point. With referrals spreading and me honing my understanding of the business world, the possibilities are expanding fast and I’m excited to see what will happen in 2010.

In 2009 my business website was hacked and completely destroyed. Most likely as a result of a (since patched) hole in the WordPress software, which the website is built on. The damage forced me to rebuild the site almost from the ground up. This time geared more toward my target wedding market.

The redesigned website also paved the way for me to begin accepting credit card payments.

Family & Personal Life

My niece turned 10 this year and is fast approaching teen years—for which I should leave the worrying to her parents—but I take the concern upon myself anyways. My nephew turned two just weeks after we all got the news that my sisters is pregnant again, so before he’s three there will be yet another niece or nephew in my life.

Hobbies & Personal Endeavors

It was this year that I discovered Hookah, or Nargile. A middle-eastern tradition of smoking a molasses soaked tobacco, called moassel, which is filtered through water. I’ve fallen in love with the social aspect of the hobby, but also found a perfect companion to private study and recreational reading.

In the end of 2009, I officially and finally took the plunge in to AT&T’s cell phone network which has finally allowed me to use the iPhone. It is by far the most valuable tool I’ve acquired since my Macbook Pro, or Cameras before that. No other piece of portable electronics even rivals the everyday  usefulness of the iPhone.

This year I also made a more pointed effort to learn to play guitar. I failed—perhaps to dust off and try again?

Church Life

In the beginning of 2009, church life was on rocky ground. By the end of 2009 church life in any official capacity is virtually non-existent. A combination of disillusionment with the institution of the American church and an uncertainty about which direction to go has left me, at the end of 2009, between ministries again.

It was this year, in 2009, that I also came to grips with the fact that I have no interest in serving the Church vocationally as a pastor or leader. Though I still find myself kicking against the goads of respected friends’ opinions. This one is to-be-continued.

In Conclusion

2009 was productive, yet not without it’s difficulties. I have a lot of new ideas on the docket for 2010, but to avoid clichés, I will avoid actually using the term “New Years Resolution” in a sentence.

But more on next year, next year.

Before I go on, I would like to say outright that I don’t intend to cast judgment on anyone, but I will share my opinions on this matter. If you are one of the people I know involved in this, then please don’t take offense. If your conscience allows you to do it, then I don’t mean to criticize you in particular.

So, continuing on this little miniseries of thoughts on things that have been ‘stupidly Christianized’, I come today to this growing little doozy of Christiany weirdness.

Relationship Marketing

If that term doesn’t ring a bell for you, the companies that it classifies probably will. Companies like Mary Kay, Pampered Chef and others like them are known for using an ‘relationship’ model of marketing. No billboards, no Google ads. Just one person talking to another person they trust and being convinced to buy a product or service. In the case of Mary Kay or Pampered Chef, it often comes in the way of home show parties.

But growing are a few companies using a similar marketing model that also (albeit unofficially) represent themselves as Christian companies. Or Christian run companies, as I believe they describe themselves.

The most popular of these seems to be Quickstar. The gist of Quickstar is that people are to start buying their regular, day-to-day items (i.e., soap, dish detergent, toilet paper, shaving cream, etc etc) directly from Quickstar. When they agree to do this, they become a ‘business owner’ who can then either just use to service, or get other people to sign up ‘under’ them. A small commission is earned on all of their purchases, and likewise whoever signed up the business owner gets some commission on their purchases too.

It’s more complicated than that, but for the sake of time, that’s probably a sufficient description.

The point is though, that when I sign up I make money for someone else. And when I sign someone else up, they make money for me. Although it sounds like a pyramid scheme, technically it’s not.

In order to help support all the business owners in their endeavors, regular local meetings are held. Usually with a speaker or something to help motivate and inspire. A friend shared a story from one of these meetings with me just tonight. He described the speaker as persuading his audience that for any great thing to succeed sacrifices would have to be made. After going through a list of examples where sacrifice was necessary for big success, he landed on Jesus. Likening Jesus’ sacrifice and bearing of all of his Father’s wrath to the sacrifice these ‘business owners’ would have to make in selling their product.

My friend said that up until that moment he was just about ready to join, then threw up a little in his mouth and had to leave. It was obviously a cheap exploit aimed at his primarily Christian audience.

But besides isolated incidents like that, you might be asking, what’s so bad about this being a Christian thing? Well, I’ll tell you what I see from my perspective.

Relationship marketing takes two almost opposing concepts and pits them against each other. For the Christian, human relationships are where we have received one of our most profound charges from God: to preach and spread the Gospel; to make disciples of all the nations.

While on the other hand, we have this concept of marketing. Which when broken down is basically the commercial practice of convincing someone they need or want your product or service in order that they would buy it and generate income for you.

When relationships and marketing are connected in such an inorganic fashion, there’s an impossible tension there. Let me give you an example.

A few years ago when one of these Christian companies started to grow in local popularity, it spread pretty rapidly through the few local churches that I was involved with. I had ties with lots of people through various ministries. All of a sudden, I started getting really friendly sounding phone calls from brothers and sisters in Christ who I’d not spoken to in months. Or, didn’t have a close enough relationship with to really make sense of these phone calls.

Yet here they were, calling me. Inviting me to have coffee, or lunch. I must have gotten half a dozen or more of these phone calls. Every one of them turned out to be an attempt to sign me up for this service.

What was their motivation in those phone calls? It wasn’t to connect in a meaningful way over our mutual love for God. It was over the prospect of income and professional success in the context of this relationship marketing model.

This seems to me to be an impossible combination. All of a sudden, money has taken over the Gospel in relationships between brothers and sisters and non-Christians as well. Where before Christians may be motivated to engage in relationship to see God work in the hearts and minds of fellow believers and unbelievers, it’s been convoluted with engaging the person so that they might join the company. Ultimately paying their salary.

in Conclusion 

Although I am sure there are people who can handle this with grace and wisdom, it seems that the majority cannot and instead it could be a massive stumbling block to the Church. Dare I say even a dangerous infection. With some people as carriers unaffected by the disease, but the majority suffering deeply from it.

For Christians, it seems like it should be a pretty big logical problem. Further than that, it seems like something our churches should be taking concerned notice of.

In Have you ever read Romans 14:13? It goes like this:

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother”

I think I hear this verse (and others like it) way too often. It’s usually used as kind of a blanket verse. A trump card to avoid tense situations. Billy is drinking a beer and Betty thinks it’s wrong. Rather than Billy and Betty having to deal with the tension of holding differing convictions, it’s argued that Billy shouldn’t drink beer because it’s causing Betty to ‘stumble’.

Is it? Or is her sense of right and wrong taking offense at Billy’s differing opinion? They’re not the same thing.

Admittedly, this is not a topic that I have thoroughly thought through. There are still quite a few questions and points of contention in my mind over it. But the overarching issue, I think, is relatively clear.

Consider the verse, Proverbs 27:17:

Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.

Is it possible for iron to sharpen iron without friction? No, of course not. Friction is more or less why iron can sharpen iron. Likewise, I can’t think of too many times that a brother refined me apart from my own convictions rubbing against theirs. For us to benefit from one another as believers, our sense of right and wrong must be offended some times.

In Romans 14, Paul does not want to cause a brother to stumble by eating meat. After all, many of his Jewish brothers would be violating their conscience by eating meat. But eventually, they did eat meat. There are very few Christians today who refrain from eating meat for biblical reasons. How’d this happen? At some point someone’s convictions must have been offended causing them to reconsider their resolves, ultimately allowing them to change their views and eat meat with a clean conscience.

In the situation with Billy and Betty, Billy shouldn’t entice Betty to drink beer, nor should he drink beer if Betty is feeling the urge to do so—thus violating her conscience. However, I don’t think Billy has much obligation to Betty’s preferences beyond that.

If we allow the definitions of ‘stumbling block’ and ‘offended’ and ‘conscience’ to be convoluted, then we’ll be restricted from just about everything. There aren’t many topics that Christians unanimously agree on and how specifically to live this life is far far far from being on that list. That’s okay. But it means that topics like this one shouldn’t be carelessly understood and hidden behind.

It usually results in more irritated conflict and threatens to stunt our spiritual and relational growth.

From the time that I was doing small group ministry, I doubt that I can count on two hands the number of times I was accused of being a cult leader. Either to my face or as vague rumors. Of course, it was a combination of flagrantly abusing the word ‘cult’ and not quite knowing how to respond to a really tight knit small group.

We never passed around poison juice. We never entered into death pacts. Although, one time I did shave my head which, over the next few days, was copied by a number of the guys.

Even though the group had it’s problems and I still had a lot to learn about leading people (and still do), the reality was that good things were happening. The guys in the group and myself were learning a lot about what it meant to follow God and be a believer and have faith.

But every time one of these cult rumors would spread, on the outside I would laugh it off. But on the inside I was really insecure. I didn’t want people to think that about me. Eventually, criticisms like those caused me to respond at least a little reclusively. Reading in Nehemiah today reminded me of that time in life and ministry.

Nehemiah is rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem in the face of pretty heated opposition from it’s neighbors. After trying to convince him to stop several times before, a group of men write a letter to king Artaxerxes full of slander that, although from the outside it appears as though it could be true, it simply isn’t. The men present Nehemiah with the letter their threatening to send.

Then I sent to him, saying, "No such things as you say have been done, for you are inventing them out of your own mind." For they all wanted to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will drop from the work, and it will not be done." But now, O God, strengthen my hands.

In hindsight, I would have liked Nehemiah’s insight and wisdom to take the accusations from his opponents and turn with them to God and say, “But now, O God, strengthen my hands.”

I think that’s pretty cool. Live and learn, I suppose.