William Petruzzo » memory

Not For Climbing: RIP My First Carabineer

William — Fri, 28 May 2010 15:32:15 +0000

Back in middle school, like most people my age, I worked very hard to listen to the right music and attempt to dress in the right way to deliver the right message about myself to my peers. Ironically, for me that meant being careful not to do things that were already trendy. If I was going to participate in a trend, I had to be an early adopter, or else I couldn’t get involved at all. I guess it was just part of my weird social moral code.

Well, sometime around early high school I realized that it was a lot of work. And, it sometimes meant missing out on stuff that was cool, or convenient or just plain fun. I thought to myself, “If I think something is cool, or fun, or convenient, why shouldn’t I enjoy it myself?” My decision making, up until that point, started to look pretty silly. I couldn’t come up with a rational excuse to continue that way and I came to the conclusion that ”Screw it” just made the most sense.

So that’s what I did. I said, screw it and committed myself to do what I wanted to do—obviously with some limitations.

After that, the first thing I went and did was buy a carabineer. You know, the little climbing clips people use to attach their keys to the belt loops on their jeans. At the time it was trendy. For a long time I’d been frustrated putting my keys in my pocket, but refused to use this little clip because I didn’t want to be the guy jumping on the trend.

Fast foreword seven years and I’m still using the same clip to carry my keys around. That is until yesterday when it broke. All of a sudden, the significance of that carabineer came rushing back to me and I realized that I’d been using the same clip for a long time and it was an important landmark in making me who I am today, ideologically speaking.

So, now I’ve gotten a new clip and the old one has made it into the memory-box hall of fame. And I post this today in memoriam of my first deliberate and conscious act of social rebellion by allowing myself to jump on an obvious trend. RIP my fist carabineer. Your memory will not be forgotten.

Peace vs. Numbness

William — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 12:24:46 +0000

About two years ago this month, I penned a prayer in a journal I was keeping at the time. As I slowly skimmed over the pages a few days ago, I came across the prayer.

I think it’s strangely insightful. In a way that I certainly didn’t realize when I wrote it. The difference between spiritual numbness and spiritual peace are subtle. It is how unbelievers find contentment, even without God, and how believers stay their sanctification.

March 18th, 2008:

Jesus, help me not to confuse numbness with peace. For whatever reason, I feel nothing right now and I am tempted to call it peace. Whatever it is, will you spread you joy and goodness over it—for your glory?

Most of the time, peace comes from God after pain, while numbness comes from elsewhere before it. It’s like at the dentist when you go to have a cavity filled. They numb your whole mouth. If you were like me when I was younger, I would always irritate my mouth my biting the inside of my cheeks and tongue—it was a strange sensation. But inevitably, the numbness would wear off and my mouth would hurt really bad.

But the same analogy could be used for peace. A cavity irritates our mouth and causes pain, until we see a dentist who actually solves the problem leading to a legitimate ‘peace’. Not numbness, rather a real lack of pain.

As believers we must be aware when we’ve simply become numb. We cannot call it peace. It’s not peace. If we are numb, we are no doubt doing things that will hurt us later. Instead, we have to seek God to give us actual peace. And, it will likely not come before having to deal with some pain.

Blast from the Past: Willow

William — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:53:00 +0000

I have this fear of watching movies that I loved in my childhood. After I watched The Never Ending Story a couple years ago, it dashed my delusions about the movie. It was, in fact, terrible.

Tonight, at a loss for anything else to do, I watched Willow. The 1988, George Lucas written, Ron Howard directed, classic-ish fantasy adventure. I thought for sure all my fond memories would be dashed on the rocks of my since matured taste in cinema.

And while I didn’t watch it with the wonder and excitement I did as an eight year old kid, It wasn’t altogether disappointed either.

Did you ever see the movie? The main character is played by a little person who, strangely enough, boasts a pretty long rap sheet. He’s been in almost every Harry Potter movie, and was the unsung actor behind the robot Marvin in 2005’s move rendition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. He also happened to be the antagonist in all six Leprechaun movies, including Leprechaun in Space, Leprechaun in the Hood and Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood.

And of course, the underrated Val Kilmer towered above him as his heroic warrior companion.

I even found myself actually laughing at some of the jokes. Not just laughing at the 80’s fantasy movie style. But I also noted that a lot of things were distinctly borrowed from Star Wars and almost plagiarized from the Lord of the Rings books. Neither did I notice as a child.

But, the very best part of all was the epic final showdown between two great sorceresses. Both would appear to be in their early 70’s. While at first they fight each other with their magic, by the end it turns into a pretty classic cat fight. I have to admit, I couldn’t help but laugh at that part.

So, if you’ve seen the movie, take a trip down memory lane and have fun with it again. If you’ve never seen the movie… well, just keep it that way.

Hollywood Messed Me Up

Nostalgic Embarrassment

William — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:34:12 +0000

Do have those little micro-embarrassing moments that somehow stick with you? I don’t mean like the really big embarrassing times, like showing up for work without pants on or something. I mean the very little ones that most people probably don’t even remember. But for some reason you do.

It’s like they’re moments that aren’t a big enough deal to eventually turn into a joke you cal laugh about, but they’re not small enough to just forget about altogether. Like when I accidentally made bad joke with people I didn’t know, then to diffuse the awkwardness I tried to make another joke that somehow turned out just as bad.

Every so often, one of those moments will pop into my head and I’ll spend 60 seconds or so once again feeling just as embarrassed as I did the first time through. Even if there’s no one around. It’s bizarre.

It got me thinking about the human experience though and how fascinating emotional sensations can be. Although they usually are, they’re not necessarily tied to anything around us. Under the right circumstances, emotions can almost be replayed like an old VHS tape.

It’s amazing that our minds can do that. It’s even more amazing that it seems to do it all on it’s own.

Music & the Power of Nostalgia

William — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:29:53 +0000

I was having a discussion earlier today about how strange the power of music is. It’s can almost be like a drug whose primary affect is nostalgia. But more than simply reminiscent nostalgia. Like an intense nostalgia. Depending what you’re listening to, you can be instantly transported to a whole other era of life. You can feel just as you felt at another time.

There are times where a smart playlist on my iPod comes across a song from high school and, depending what I’m doing at the time, for those brief few minutes, I get to look at the world through eyes that have long since grown into something else.

It’s nothing short of bizarre. But after the conversation, it got me thinking about the time in Kings when Elisha couldn’t prophesy until they brought him a minstrel. When the music started playing, he was then able to prophesy (2 Kings 3:15).

“…Bring me a harpist."
While the harpist was playing, the hand of the LORD came upon Elisha”

Although it probably doesn’t matter and there’s no way to know for sure, I can’t help but wonder what song it was that the minstrel played for Elisha. I’m betting that in God’s sovereignty, it wasn’t altogether supernatural that the song affected Elisha the way it did.

Of course, that’s just my speculation. Who can know for sure?