Something I’ve never really done is play sports. There are various contributing factors in that, the most notable probably being that I’ve just never been all that captivated by them.

Never in elementary, middle or high school was I ever a player on any kind of organized team. I think if I remember right, I tried to play soccer for like two weeks when I was 8 or 9. But that might be some composite memory I picked up from TV or something.

Long story short, that pretty much puts me in a position now where I neither care about sports nor am I any good at them when it comes to participating myself. I could care less which team wins the Super Bowl and probably I couldn’t kick a ball into a net to save my life.

But, I think I’d like to change that.

So, the past couple of weeks I’ve been giving it an honest effort to cultivate some interest and skill in some kind of sport. I have to admit, things aren’t going particularly well.

Last Sunday I went with some friends to watch the Redskins Cowboys game. In the beginning, I didn’t really know what was going on (being that I’ve never had an interest), but thanks to wikipedia, my iPhone and some helpful insights from a friend, by the end of the game I was pretty well clued in. Apparently I was supposed to be excited that the Redskins won? I don’t know.

But also, I’ve been trying to give it some effort myself as well. A very patient friend has been playing tennis with me. Here’s the thing, I really might be the worlds worst tennis player. If I’m not missing the ball completely, I’m sending it soaring over the fence. It’s seriously annoying.

All that been said though, I am giving things an honest effort. I really would like to not be an outsider in the world of playing and enjoying sports.

So, wish me luck!

Picture a room. There’s a group of people standing around a table. Their cell phones are sitting on the table. We’ll say somewhere around 15 cell phones are on the table.  All of them are set to vibrate. Whenever one of the phones ring, it rattles and moves in some direction slightly, based on the slant of the table and the shape of the phone.

Well, each time one of these phones vibrates, it gets a little closer to the edge of the table. Each time this happens, the people around the table erupt into cheering. The closer the various phones get to the edge of the table, the more excited the people get. Eventually, one of the phones falls of the edge, thereby proving its superiority. The owner of the phone cheers and rubs it into the faces of his peers standing around him. The other people around the table grumble at their defeat, but are hopeful for the next time when they’ll have surely purchased a new model with a more powerful vibrating device inside.

Don’t you think that sounds like a pretty stupid scene? Yeah, I think it does. But that’s the only way I can manage to look at professional sporting events. It just doesn’t make any sense to me, trust me, I’ve tried. But in the end, I just keep wondering, why would I care whose phone falls of the edge of the table first?

Unless if it were my phone.

That’s the kicker for me. I don’t get how its fun to watch a game. Shouldn’t it be fun to play a game?

I don’t mean to be judgmental. I know people like different things—a lot of the time for weird reasons. But this is one that’s so popular and I seem to be the only one who really doesn’t get it. I’m the only one seeing the vibrating telephones. Maybe someone should explain it to me so that I can get in on the fun too!

Sheesh.