I went to Burger King with some friends today. They, as well as a handful of other fast-food chains are participating in some ambiguous charity involving kids and shamrocks. I looked around the restaurant. There wasn’t much explanation.
This little information flyer was sitting on each table. Unfortunately it didn’t explain much. It also didn’t make me want to give money. I mean, you’d think they’d have some people look over something like this and point out things that might be better reworded or omitted altogether.
$30 – Flu Shot. Okay, I’m down with that. Kids need flu shots.
$80 – One Minute of Research. Wait, really? Okay, I get that research can be expensive (never mind the fact that I really have no idea what they’re researching), but this really isn’t going to make anyone feel like they can help. $80 for a minute of research? I think we could omit that one.
$100 – Support Group Session. Maybe I’m missing something. I thought support groups were just a bunch of people in similar circumstances helping to support each other.
$150 – Physical, Occupational, Respiratory and Speech Therapy Consultations. Okay, so at 150 bones, the kids get to figure out what’s wrong with them and maybe even how to fix it. But with research costing $4,800 an hour, good luck affording whatever it is.
$300 – Initial Diagnostic Workup at an MDA Clinic. Okay.
$500 – Annual Repairs of Durable Medical Equipment. Ahem. “Annual Repairs” doesn’t seem to go so well with “Durable Equipment”. Just saying. How about “Preventative Maintenance”?
$800 – Week at MDA Summer Camp. Sounds like a blast.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure whatever this schizophrenic organization is doing is great. But I’m sensing there is a pretty crucial staff member missing—the guy who actually reads print material before it’s sent to press.
