“We really became one person. So now, I guess I’m only half alive.”
Lillian K. (Name Obscured for Safety)
These are the words of a newly widowed woman at her husband’s funeral yesterday. Last Thursday, Lillian’s husband, Tom, died. Since before I was born they lived reclusively next door. No children and no family, plus being very private people, they never really made friends in the neighborhood.
Though my family only saw them once every couple of months, my parents were perhaps the closest thing to friends the had. So when Tom died, the only place Lillian could turn was to my parents for support.
Unfortunately, Lillian borders on dementia or perhaps Alzheimer’s. Every 20 minutes or so, Lillian would forget that Tom was gone and would call my parent’s home saying she couldn’t find her husband. So, without a doctor’s diagnosis of a mental disorder, the only option for keep Lillian safe was for my mother to stay with her almost constantly. Still, even with my mother’s constant presence, Lillian continued to forget that Tom was really gone for good.
Nearly a week later, Lillian seems to have finally grasped it. Though healing has not even begun. And, at her age, most would wonder whether healing will ever come. And perhaps her heart will be forever broken. But for her soul, there remains hope till the last moment.
While Tom was still alive, he repeated to her many times that he didn’t believed in God, let alone trusted him. He was a self-proclaimed atheist. Lillian on the other hand, grew up in some form of the protestant church. And though she doesn’t practice, some kind of faith exists. She allowed me to pray with her, and even lifted her hands during Tom’s memorial service at the Crownsville Veteran’s Cemetery.
Now that the memorial is over and the reality appears to have begun to set in, Lillian is speaking words of suicide. Though she hasn’t made any kind of attempt as of yet.
Tom is gone, and though we don’t know what his final moments looked like (Lillian cannot deliver a clear account), we are left believing his death was a tragedy. While there is nothing more we can do for Tom, Lillian is still here and her heart is more tender than perhaps it has ever been in her 82 years of life.
We don’t want to see the effects of Tom’s death wasted and this may be Lillian’s last chance at redemption, forgiveness and salvation. If you pray, please pray for Lillian’s soul and her salvation. That in the wake of Tom’s death, she would believe on and trust in the Lord Jesus for these things and therein would find comfort and happiness that neither alcohol nor suicide could ever offer.