This comic comes from Hoom!, a sidebar comics blog. It is originally posted here.

I thought this comic was pretty good. The idea that there is that ‘perfect someone’ out there is common in our culture. People believe this. The social reality that most people aren’t that great, and therefore probably won’t end up with someone that great should be enough for people to agree that if they want love, they’ll have to put up with imperfections and be willing to improve themselves. But it’s usually not. Zoom out far enough logically though, and the idea of that perfect someone actually existing anywhere nearby is just stupid.

Love is great, but it’s hard work.

No, perhaps not of any real consequence, but certainly funny and interesting. How many dating and married relationships do know that share the apology stock in good balance? Probably not many.

Lucky for me, my girlfriend and I seem to do a pretty good job of keeping the screw ups fairly equal.

It’s no secret that evangelical Christians tend to lack tact when speaking with non-Christians. It’s an unfortunate stereotype, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. Christians are dubbed as insensitive and arrogant. I know more than one non-Christian who makes a concerted effort not to get caught up in a spiritual conversation with a Christian because he knows if he does, he’s going to become something of a field goal to the group around him. That is, if they can score.

Have you ever been to a party or a cookout comprised mostly of Christians, but with just one or two non-Christians around? If you have, then there’s a good chance you’ve see what happens when one of those people reveals that they are not only not a Christian, but are also willing to discuss spiritual matters. Oops.

Christians go nuts. I mean, an objective observer might actually think they had some kind of a bi-polar episode; seemingly intoxicated with the perceived chance to win a soul for Jesus (or a badge for themselves, it’s hard to say sometimes). And what’s worse, is when one of these non-Christians accidentally finds themselves in this situation, but with more than a few Christians around them. It reminds me of zombies craving brains and just what happens when they discover fresh meat is among them.

It frustrates me that as Christians, we have earned our stereotypes. But it frustrates me more that most don’t seem to know it.

There is the analogy for Calvinism that paints us as a person in the middle of the road about to be hit by a car. God, loving us deeply and of his own prerogative, pushes us out of the way of that car. I think that Christians tend to see themselves in God’s position and the unbeliever as the one in the road. They try to dive to the rescue. But we are not God. We cannot push someone out of the way of that care—they must walk out of the way (so to speak).

As Christians, we know that it is dangerous to be an unbeliever. They are, in a very potent sense, in the road about to be hit by a car at any minute. But we cannot force them out of the road—instead, we have to first have love and empathy for their position. Then, and only then, can we also have tact to speak to them about getting out of the road before they’re hurt.

Lets cultivate that love and empathy and calm down. Maybe, just maybe, we can become the exception to that painfully accurate stereotype.

Today, my sister Mary is wed to her boyfriend and long time friend Seth. Soon they will be off for to their honeymoon and then off to build a life and family together. That’s exciting. It’s also going to be challenging.

This is my prayer for May and Seth on their wedding day, for their marriage to come.

Philippians 4:8-9:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Jesus, I pray first and foremost that in Mary and Seth’s marriage, that you would be glorified and lifted up. That their affection and love for one another would be a reflection of their love and affection for you. When those who do not know you yet would see you when they see Mary and Seth. By your power and provision, make the tiniest of opportunities into the biggest of possibilities. Let them waste no opportunity. Let them never think too little of what it means to represent you to the world in their marriage.

Next Jesus, I pray for Seth. I pray for Seth as your servant in his personal life, and as the youth pastor of his Church. I pray that you would challenge him as a man. Challenge him, aside from all of his personal aspirations and expectations, to lay his life down before you as a true living sacrifice. Let him hold nothing in higher esteem than your intentions for him. I also pray for Seth as a new husband and father. Help him to place himself in his proper place, as a strong leader in their household and as a servant caregiver, and lover. Let him care for Mary as he would his own body. I pray that you would take every fear and hesitation and turn it to trust in your power and worth.

Jesus, I pray also for Mary, a sister and friend I love and care for deeply. I pray that you would challenge her in new ways to pursue you and trust you. I pray that you would defend her from the temptation to place her worth and value in her husband—to be see it increasingly in you and your sacrifice for her on the cross. I pray that you would help her to exist in happiness and harmony with her husband. Help her to trust and support Seth in his endeavors. Help her to submit to Seth’s leadership, not blindly or begrudgingly, but lovingly and in partnership with him to learn how best to serve you and further your kingdom. Jesus, I pray that you would take the bad habits that Mary has learned and submit them to you for reformation. Help her not to be anxious or nervous, but rather at peace, knowing that although difficulty will come, it will always be, in an ultimate sense, for her best and your glory. Help her to see her beauty in you and live life in that truth.

Jesus, for my niece Meg, who moves today from being the daughter of a single mother to the daughter of a family unit. Jesus I pray that you would make this transition as harmless as possible. Help her to find peace in her newly married parent’s love for you and each other. Give her strength in times of conflict and help her to see the immeasurable value in trusting you. Jesus, I pray that you would protect her from the lies the enemy will tell her about her worth. I pray that even though the next few months and years will be full of challenging transitions, she would know that you love her and her value is in you. Nowhere else. Help her also to see her own roll in supporting her Mother’s marriage. Help her to be an instrument of success for them as a couple.

Jesus, as a family, I pray for Mary and Seth and Meg. I pray that you would help them to love each other. Help them to be open and honest. Help them to pray and seek you as a family unit, sent as ambassadors of your kingdom. Give them strength. Help them to exhibit every fruit of the Spirit. Help them not to ignore conviction, but respond to it in repentance. As a family, help them never to brush the trouble under the carpet, but lovingly work through their wrongs to become a stronger and more you-glorifying unit of your people.

Lastly Jesus, I pray for the unborn children of Mary and Seth’s love for one another. I pray that you would, by their parent’s direction and example, make them not only children of a loving couple, but children of a loving God. Give them every opportunity. Give them every good thing you desire. Give them your specific, soul saving love. Give them earth shattering faith in your power.

Jesus, I know you have more good in mind than I could ever dream. You’re intentions are higher than my highest sights can be set. Help us to love you, trust you and glorify you in everything. Be all that you truly are in our lives and raise our standards Lord.

And just in case I wasn’t clear enough, it’s in your name I pray these things, Jesus Christ, the perfect son of God.

It is no secret that I have many grievances with the institutional church. I have few reservations in saying that I think it barely breaks even in doing good, versus doing harm to its own and the world who needs to hear the Gospel.

As I read in Romans 15 tonight, Paul talks about his freedom to now come and visit the church in Rome since his doors for service in his own region were coming to a close. So, to better understand the passage, I read from Matthew-Henry’s classic commentary on the text. And one short phrase stood out and left a very bitter taste in my mouth.

It is justly expected from all Christians, that they should promote every good work, especially that blessed work, the conversion of souls. Christian society is a heaven upon earth, an earnest of our gathering together unto Christ at the great day.

Christian society is a ‘heaven upon earth’. In other words, the corporate church is a heaven upon earth.

Well, yes, perhaps in isolated places. Perhaps even in Matthew-Henry’s time this was true. It’s hard to say, really. But for me, in my experience and the experience of many others, this sentiment does not resonate whatsoever. There is little more charity in the institutional church than in the world at large. But, in the church, there is far less acceptance or ‘love’—even patience or forgiveness.

But I do notice that Matthew-Henry deliberately uses the word ‘a’ in order to describe this present ‘heaven’. Of course we cannot attain here what we will truly have with Christ, there.

Nonetheless, the church ought to be something like a heaven on earth, in certain respects. And while the institution will never be perfect, we cannot accept the flaws by that virtue. Much like our own personal pursuits of Christ, we have to continue to tear down the flawed structures and at least attempt to rebuild stronger, more effective ones—regardless of the ‘cost’.

I am one who enjoys a healthy debate. I like a good, sometimes heated, discussion about serious matters. Okay, even some not-so-serious matters. On more than one occasion I have seen substantial shifts in my opinion come from a good debate. And, I’ve known plenty of others who share that experience.

But, with the internet nosing its way into virtually every part of our lives, more and more often those healthy discussions take up residence on the net. And from there, they suffer from a kind of environmental infection rendering them almost completely useless. In fact, I’d even venture to say harmful.

Yeah, you read that correctly. Internet debate, I think, almost always leads nowhere good.

I think it has a lot to do with the impersonal nature of the internet. We’re all covered in what we feel is a shroud of privacy when we converse on the net. In real life we tend to avoid conflict. But on the net most people come out guns-a-blazin’. In less mature circles, online debate spirals into a flame war.

But in more mature circles, I think it manifests in far more subtle ways.

For example. In real life, conversations and debates usually progress nugget by nugget and our answers are not usually rehearsed. They coming off the cuff. That means the conversation moves bit by bit. Rarely is one detail exhausted, but rather, many small details are swept over as the come up in conversation.

But, on the internet it’s just the opposite. I am able to state an opinion or an idea. Someone who disagrees is then able to respond to me. But, instead of responding to one portion of what I said and following the conversation from there like we would in real life, they are able to respond to every detail all at once. Researching on the net, revising their thoughts and looking for leaks in their argument. All before ever hitting submit. That might sound like a benefit. But I don’t think that it is.

See, from there, if the person who had the thought in the first place wishes to respond, it will have to be in length. Once again responding to each point. This, while our facts may be right, does more for our pride than anything else. And by the time the debate is over, you have a thread of conversation that would make a masters thesis blush.

And, as I mentioned before, I think it mostly comes back to the impersonal nature of the internet.

When you converse with someone in real life, by simply making your opinion known, or contending with someone else’s, you are exposing yourself to vulnerability. And, in order for debate to actually be healthy and have any positive impacts on us, we have to be vulnerable to a reasonable extent. It’s humility 101. Something almost no one exercises on the internet.

I submit that the invulnerability we feel on the internet goes a long way to nullifying our debates and making them essentially useless. So for me, I will try and keep my serious debate (at least with those I do not know well) in the real world… or at least video chat.

Week four and I’m still video blogging. Between iMovie and a more relaxed attitude toward my video blog, I’m finding a weekly video to be pretty easy. Sooner or later, I’ll stop copping out of my Sunday blog posts by posting the video blog.

But for now, I’m still spreading the word. So, here you go, this week’s YouTube video blog.

(Can’t see the video? Watch it on YouTube!)