I have a love-hate relationship with Hollywood. I love the entertainment and the fantasy that Hollywood (and film entertainment in general) provide. But I hate what it seems to do to our children, to women and men. Probably even me—should I be able to see myself clearly enough.

Movies provide us an escape into some alternate world where for two hours we can forget who we are and identify with someone else altogether. For all intents and purposes, we get to be someone else altogether. Rarely is there a movie where no character can be related to. When those movies do show, they may be appreciated for their artistic value, but it seems we’re not often ‘entertained’—if I may assume a distinction.

The characters in movies are almost always ‘regular people’ (although there are exceptions). Just consider Transformers or Disturbia. Both star Shia LeBouff and in both instances he plays a ‘regular dude’ thrust into extraordinary circumstances. From a fantasy standpoint, we’d all like to be a hero of some kind and this provides us an outlet to tease this inclination. Of course, if hordes of alien robots really did land on earth or a murderous neighbor really did live next door, we probably wouldn’t really want to be the only hope for success.

But this is part of why we love the movies. It’s like a ride at an amusement park and we enjoy it.

But what struck me the other day was the way that some elements of our characters are quite ordinary, while others absolutely extraordinary. Most notably the way our characters look and interact with one another.

Part of Hollywood’s reputation is in employing some of the world’s most beautiful and charismatic people. This is okay. But when these performers are married to ‘regular people’ rolls, it seems to create this black-hole of unreasonable desires in the viewer.

Today’s women seem to (needlessly) suffer more than ever from society’s opinions of how they look—driven largely by the ‘standards’ set by Hollywood. But it’s not only from peers that women seem to feel inadequate, but from self entirely. I suspect that Hollywood has something to do with this as well. Consider a story of an ordinary woman who goes up against a local government agency in an attempt to win justice for herself or her kin. Her endeavor is relatable. At one time or another, we’ve all felt wronged by a larger entity than ourselves and we would all love to face it down. This aspect of her story is relatable. But the actress cast is drop-dead gorgeous. This is something that most woman cannot relate to in an ‘ideal’ sense.

Just think of the emotional confusion that’s bound to produce over time.

But it’s not just women either. I think men suffer in similar ways, but from more subtle things. But I can attest that Hollywood has set this kind of confusion in me, to some degree, also. Although putting a finger on it is challenging. Once again, I’m trapped inside myself making this kind of assessment challenging.

It’s hard to say what Hollywood is doing is ‘wrong’ per se. The movie industry seems to reflect the ideals we already have, rather than giving ideals to us. If this is in fact the case, perhaps we just need to learn that we are who we are supposed to be and there is no such thing as an ‘ideal’.