I have recently been provoked to reassess my convictions on various things. This is good. Introspection and reconsideration are good. Willingness to be proven wrong are good. We either come out the other side more attuned to our convictions, or realizing that we were in error.

This is where I am, although I will not dive into specifics. At least not right now.

But at the same time as I am seeking the scriptures to better understand the way I ought or ought not live, I am also being challenge not to allow myself to read more into scripture than is really there. Personally, when I am thoroughly challenged in my conviction (particularly by a respected brother or sister), I will have the tendency to either produce the fault in myself and so win back their approval. Or, for my own conceit, find the justification for my conviction in scripture, whether it’s there to be found or not.

But reading in 1 Corinthians today, I’m challenged particularly by what Paul writes, using Apollos and himself as an example for the church.

1 Corinthians 4:3-5:

“But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.”

Paul has established that in spite of what others might say about him, his conscience is clean—however, that is not evidence enough in itself to to ‘acquit’ him of guilt. Rather, he explains that it is God who is the only one who can truly judge. For us this means God’s Word.

I find myself in a similar position to the one Paul describes here. Although I have a clean conscience, I cannot be confident on that alone. When I am challenged by a brother, I must accept that perhaps I have misunderstood, misread, or misinterpreted the only right foundation for a clean conscience.

But it’s in Paul’s next words that I’m particularly struck.

1 Corinthians 4:6:

“I have applied all these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, brothers, that you may learn by us not to go beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up in favor of one against another.”

Whether in vindicating myself, or in seeking another’s approval, I should be especially careful “not to go beyond what is written”. I must allow no part of myself to be sacred. Instead, faithfully seek God’s word to establish a right conviction—whether it find me affirmed in the area I was challenged, or find me convicted and repentant of some sin.

But all the while, I rest assure that God’s grace in the blood of Jesus Christ is greater than all and he will guide me to truth, eventually. And in that there will be glory and satisfaction.