Before I go on, I would like to say outright that I don’t intend to cast judgment on anyone, but I will share my opinions on this matter. If you are one of the people I know involved in this, then please don’t take offense. If your conscience allows you to do it, then I don’t mean to criticize you in particular.

So, continuing on this little miniseries of thoughts on things that have been ‘stupidly Christianized’, I come today to this growing little doozy of Christiany weirdness.

Relationship Marketing

If that term doesn’t ring a bell for you, the companies that it classifies probably will. Companies like Mary Kay, Pampered Chef and others like them are known for using an ‘relationship’ model of marketing. No billboards, no Google ads. Just one person talking to another person they trust and being convinced to buy a product or service. In the case of Mary Kay or Pampered Chef, it often comes in the way of home show parties.

But growing are a few companies using a similar marketing model that also (albeit unofficially) represent themselves as Christian companies. Or Christian run companies, as I believe they describe themselves.

The most popular of these seems to be Quickstar. The gist of Quickstar is that people are to start buying their regular, day-to-day items (i.e., soap, dish detergent, toilet paper, shaving cream, etc etc) directly from Quickstar. When they agree to do this, they become a ‘business owner’ who can then either just use to service, or get other people to sign up ‘under’ them. A small commission is earned on all of their purchases, and likewise whoever signed up the business owner gets some commission on their purchases too.

It’s more complicated than that, but for the sake of time, that’s probably a sufficient description.

The point is though, that when I sign up I make money for someone else. And when I sign someone else up, they make money for me. Although it sounds like a pyramid scheme, technically it’s not.

In order to help support all the business owners in their endeavors, regular local meetings are held. Usually with a speaker or something to help motivate and inspire. A friend shared a story from one of these meetings with me just tonight. He described the speaker as persuading his audience that for any great thing to succeed sacrifices would have to be made. After going through a list of examples where sacrifice was necessary for big success, he landed on Jesus. Likening Jesus’ sacrifice and bearing of all of his Father’s wrath to the sacrifice these ‘business owners’ would have to make in selling their product.

My friend said that up until that moment he was just about ready to join, then threw up a little in his mouth and had to leave. It was obviously a cheap exploit aimed at his primarily Christian audience.

But besides isolated incidents like that, you might be asking, what’s so bad about this being a Christian thing? Well, I’ll tell you what I see from my perspective.

Relationship marketing takes two almost opposing concepts and pits them against each other. For the Christian, human relationships are where we have received one of our most profound charges from God: to preach and spread the Gospel; to make disciples of all the nations.

While on the other hand, we have this concept of marketing. Which when broken down is basically the commercial practice of convincing someone they need or want your product or service in order that they would buy it and generate income for you.

When relationships and marketing are connected in such an inorganic fashion, there’s an impossible tension there. Let me give you an example.

A few years ago when one of these Christian companies started to grow in local popularity, it spread pretty rapidly through the few local churches that I was involved with. I had ties with lots of people through various ministries. All of a sudden, I started getting really friendly sounding phone calls from brothers and sisters in Christ who I’d not spoken to in months. Or, didn’t have a close enough relationship with to really make sense of these phone calls.

Yet here they were, calling me. Inviting me to have coffee, or lunch. I must have gotten half a dozen or more of these phone calls. Every one of them turned out to be an attempt to sign me up for this service.

What was their motivation in those phone calls? It wasn’t to connect in a meaningful way over our mutual love for God. It was over the prospect of income and professional success in the context of this relationship marketing model.

This seems to me to be an impossible combination. All of a sudden, money has taken over the Gospel in relationships between brothers and sisters and non-Christians as well. Where before Christians may be motivated to engage in relationship to see God work in the hearts and minds of fellow believers and unbelievers, it’s been convoluted with engaging the person so that they might join the company. Ultimately paying their salary.

in Conclusion 

Although I am sure there are people who can handle this with grace and wisdom, it seems that the majority cannot and instead it could be a massive stumbling block to the Church. Dare I say even a dangerous infection. With some people as carriers unaffected by the disease, but the majority suffering deeply from it.

For Christians, it seems like it should be a pretty big logical problem. Further than that, it seems like something our churches should be taking concerned notice of.

Job 5:7:

“For affliction does not come from the dust,
   nor does trouble sprout from the ground,
but man is born to trouble
   as the sparks fly upward.”

Because I cannot say it better myself, Matthew-Henry shares his thoughts on what seems like cutting poetry:

“We must not attribute our afflictions to fortune, for they are from God; nor our sins to fate, for they are from ourselves. Man is born in sin, and therefore born to trouble. There is nothing in this world we are born to, and can truly call our own, but sin and trouble. Actual transgressions are sparks that fly out of the furnace of original corruption. Such is the frailty of our bodies, and the vanity of all our enjoyments, that our troubles arise thence as the sparks fly upward; so many are they, and so fast does one follow another. “

During my morning meditation, I came across the section of John where Jesus is addressing a crowd in the temple. He has explained that he must die, and that where he is going, they cannot follow unless they believe in him.

John 8:28-30:

So Jesus said to them, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him."

The second half of the last sentence is what stuck with me. As I thought about it, it reinforced one of the most comforting truths about God.

I think many Christians have the tendency to divide God into three perfectly individual beings. While in a mysterious way this is true, it is also true that the Trinity is in absolute, perfect unity with itself.

We may have the tendency to think of God the Father as the wrath bearer, almost trigger-happy, to zap sinners; Jesus the Son as the gracious one, calming God the Father’s hot temper; And the Holy Spirit as a kind of courier for each of them. The reality is that the emotions of God in the trinity are in exact alignment.

Jesus does not dish out grace that God is not longing to give. When Jesus propitiates for the sins of mankind, it isn’t something that foils God’s plans for wrath, but something that pleases his desire to give grace.

If you read my blog, even on a semi-regular basis, you know I’ve gone on rants about this before. I’ll probably end up repeating myself here too. But in the discussion about things that have been stupidly Christianized, it would be a travesty to leave out this moronic nugget of our church culture.

Retail Stores

Shortly after becoming a Christian, I took a job at a local Christian bookshop. It was among the most defining times as a Christian thus far. Day in, day out, I became well acquainted with the types of inventories that came in. I even got to know some of the distributor’s sales people in the process. What I learned wasn’t pretty.

Much like the Christian music industry, Christian retailers (the truly corporate ones, anyway) create a false sense of security in their patrons minds. It’s the sense that the inventory is ‘safe’. That somehow, the products that are carried have an intrinsic spiritually enriching quality to them. In fact, from a purely business standpoint, it’s quite a brilliant scheme.

However, the reality is, the business isn’t too unlike any other retail store. They stock what will sell… to Christians. And, unfortunately, since the majority of Christians are poorly versed in basic theology, what will sell is pretty much anything with a bible verse printed on it.

Bibles

Most of the Christian retails shops I’ve been in have carefully nestled the bible selection, (which isn’t even much more extensive than what you’ll find at Borders), in the back of the store. Forcing customers to walk past a great deal of impulse buy items. Things virtually no one needs and, in fact, would probably be better off without. As an employee, I can attest that these items sell a lot more frequently than you’d think.

When you finally do get to the Bibles, they’re usually 10-20% more than they are at secular retailers.

Then, there’s the bible covers. The selection is nearly as big as the bibles themselves. And so is the price. With the exception of a place to keep you pen, I still don’t see the value in these things. In fact, from my experience with people, Bible covers actually seem to inadvertently discourage the reading of the bible outside of formal settings—like bible study, or Sunday morning services. Of course, it’s not true for everyone. But it sure seems like there’s a correlation. Maybe not.

Greeting Cards

I don’t get this. The church should be about personal investment in each others lives. If I’m going to encourage a brother with something written, I’d want to write it myself. And if someone wanted to encourage me, I’d want it to come from them.

But the whole Christian greeting card thing seems to be exactly the opposite concept. Rather than Christians being moved by scripture that comes about in their private meditation, and passing those encouraging words on to brothers and sisters, the burden is passed onto the greeting card publishers. Little fortune-cookie bits of scripture, mass printed onto little 4×6 inch cards to cover a variety of situations.

People barely have to think about God’s word and barely have to think about each other. Just grab a card and pay (too much) for it.

Self-Help & Leadership

Bigger than even the Bible commentary selection is usually the self help and/or leadership section. Make no mistakes. I’m not mislabeling these books. They really are self-help books. Weigh loss, confidence, organization, parenting. They’re all there. Most of us would have difficulty picking these out as ‘Christian’ resources if it weren’t for the cover and an (out-of-context) bible verse or two.

Leadership is another big deal. And not just church leadership either. All kinds of leadership. I remember reading one of these books as part of a church internship I did years ago. Let me tell you, there was virtually nothing of any real spiritual value in there. Flipping through quite a lot of those books during my stay at the Christian bookshop I feel fairly confident in my assertion that this isn’t uncommon.

In fact, the methods of leadership they promote, I think, are methods that are pretty much absent from scripture. Instead, I think these methods tend to build rigid hierarchies among brothers and sisters, which ultimately stunts spiritual growth and bolsters pride in the ‘leaders’ exercising them.

Knick-knacks & Gifts

Gum. Candy. Stuffed animals. Soap. Plaques. Paintings. “Artwork”. Figurines. Lotions. The list could go on.

Most of this is the epitome of junk. Things that will inevitably end up in the attic or at the thrift store. Occasionally, the plaques may have something truly inspirational on them. But most of them are out of context or borderline arrogant to place on your wall.

Is gum or candy with a a bible verse on it really better in some way than snickers or skittles? And, is it really worth spending, literally, three times as much on? No of course not. Especially since most of these don’t even seem to support any kind of worthy organization.

The children’s toys are borderline offensive, too. I remember receiving a huge shipment of stuffed animals—lambs. They were bright white and super soft. They each had a little heart on them reading “God’s Little Lamb”. You might say, “Now wait a minute, that’s perfectly biblical”. Yeah, except for how damn cute they were. The biblical imagery of God’s Lamb is a grotesque and painful one. It’s a reminder that we are sinful to our core and that we are covered in that lambs blood.

In fact, I think the only real value in this type of thing is during the holidays, when people may wish to decorate their home. These are the only place you can usually find strongly religiously oriented decorations. But even these are often misguided.

In Conclusion

I strongly believe these stores do harm to the church. Whether it be in reinforcing negative stereotypes about the church, or by numbing our spiritual senses, allowing a corporate entity to do the thinking for us.

There are alternatives to Christian retailers. Borders and Barnes & Noble stores generally carry most of the same literature—often times for cheaper. But even better than that, Amazon.com’s used marketplace is safe and usually has a selection of just about everything their Christian counterparts do, usually for a fraction of the cost. (For example, I purchased John Piper’s Desiring God used from Amazon for 1/4th the cost of buying it from the local Christian retailer—even with shipping).

Some may object on the grounds that the markup on Christian material is routed to various ministries. This is usually just not true. Especially considering Zondervan is the maker of a huge amount of Christian merchandise. And Zondervan is absolutely a for-profit organization.

So, my advice, avoid Christian retailers as much as possible. Save money by buying online and set the extra cash aside and give it to your local church, missionaries or organizations you feel compelled to support.

But whatever you do, just don’t get sucked into this monster.

After a couple days of posting other things, I’m back to this topic. Stupidly Christianized stuff. Now, before everyone flips out, let me clarify something. I know that originally, most schools were a part of the religious institution (Of course, what wasn’t really?). Then it wasn’t until much later that they became a secularized system.

But, there isn’t anything intrinsically religious about education. Whether we obtain it formally or through a kind of osmosis, learning is something we all do. Christians and non-Christians alike. So, from my perspective, schools are something that are stupidly Christianized.

Schools

Obviously I haven’t taken survey of people all over the country (or world, for that matter), I only have a sampling from my own neighborhood. But, it would seem to me, that for all of the exasperating effort to keep Christian school kids in-line and/or in-the-faith, the results aren’t very impressive.

From small private grade schools, up through college, Christian education institutions are notorious for making a lot of bizarre rules aimed at keeping students from sin. Which in (at least) some cases are less about spiritual discipline and more about school pride.

When I was leading a small group of high school guys, I recall one student explaining that the school has a rule against students smoking cigarettes. Seems reasonable on school property, but this rule extended to all hours of every day. A student reported for smoking a cigarette would be suspended on the first strike and expelled on the second. But here’s the kicker, the principal explained the rationale—they don’t want parents of prospective students learning that there are smokers there.

Cha Ch’ing. The rule wasn’t there on spiritual grounds (something I would disagree with, but ultimately respect). It was there on financial grounds.

This is far from the most irrational of regulations though. Christian schools like to mandate all kinds of things. During a conversation a few weeks back, a student from an out-of-state Christian university explained that she wasn’t allowed to leave the campus, nor was she allowed to maintain friendships with the opposite sex. Some Christian schools even have rules about where men and women can walk in relation to each other (i.e., men and women must not walk side by side, but always one in front of the other).

Alcohol is another place Christian schools like place regulations. Some friends from down south were here visiting for a few days. We were sitting around a fire enjoying a conversation. Most of us were sipping wine or some other cocktails, but our guests had to decline because the school forbid the consumption of alcohol. Even in private, even in moderation. And again, the rationale was for the sake of school image.

Christian schools almost always include a Christian curriculum of some kind, but it’s usually far from adequate (or effective). I’ve met plenty of former Christian school students who only barely had a grasp on the Gospel, if at all.

To me, it all begs the question, “why?”

I understand some parents send their kids to Christian schools because it’s a superior education than their local public schools. But many Christian parents send their children to Christian schools for fear of the influence of public schools. Ironically, the students of Christian schools have a reputation for being even more wild then their public school counterparts.

The problem is that rules and regulations are not the Gospel’s method of sanctification. I can understand school-grounds rules. Such as proper grooming, uniforms or non-smoking rules. But many Christian schools extend their regulations into student’s personal lives. As if that was going to prevent students from sin. When in fact, creating many rules about things which students have the freedom in Christ  to do, only creates more opportunities to defile their conscience.

I find that it also begs the question of what is worse—students acting like they should, or students being what they should? Placing boundaries everywhere usually has only the effect of cleaning up the surface. But in a true Christian, freedom and grace coupled with Gospel truth, love, grace and accountability is more likely to affect the heart, producing real conviction. Sure, they may smoke cigarettes, but their heart might also burn for the lost—a thing for which they will have to trust God.

I also think that Christian schools are the source of some of the Church’s biggest criticisms. I have never spoken to a student of a Christian school who didn’t describe his or her classmates as “hypocrites” or “phonies” (although the wording varies). I speculate that this is a major source of contention for non-Christians. They went to a private Christian school growing up and discovered almost no one was real and hence, neither is the Church. Can you blame them, really?

For God’s people, Christian schools also seem to reinforce the false concept that we have to work for God’s favor. Even though the spoken and written teaching of the school may be different, the abundance of regulations drives this point home.

Finally, last but not least, Christian schools often fail to socialize students well. Entire parts of the church are left socially crippled and overly judgmental and sometimes awkward. A problem not impossible for God to overcome in their evangelism, but my hunch is that he allows their evangelism to suffer for it.

So, in conclusion…

I think that the idea of Christian schools, as we know them, isn’t such a great idea, often causing more harm than good. Although an educational institution run by Christians, aimed at spreading the Gospel and bringing about deep heart-seated transformation is another story. Although my bet is that these are few and far between—that is if they even exist.

Some friends and I had an interesting discussion last night about the future of music. We were thinking about music groups like Queen, The Rolling Stones, Madonna or U2. These are mega-groups. Groups whose names carry weight. Not necessarily because of their excessive talent, but perhaps because of the longevity of their commercial success. Because in some way, that success has left a substantial mark on popular music. But even more importantly because a part of them really represents Americana. In 50 years, their names are likely to appear encyclopedias. What the Beatles have become today, these groups will likely become also in 30 years.

So the discussion arose about what groups who are still fairly young today are likely to be on a similar list. It’s pretty difficult to decide. At times our discussion even sounded heated. Making these predictions proved difficult. But at the end of the night we had a rough list of groups we think might join the ranks in the next couple decades.

1. Green Day

This was my guess. Not just because I’ve been fond of them since before I was a teenager, either. Green Day has been putting out albums with 3-4 singles each since 1994. That’s 15 years. And, the recent resurgence in their popularity has been fairly impressive considering they’re all pretty old now.

2. Justin Timberlake

This one, to me, is still a bit shaky. But, as a friend put it last night, Timberlake has risen above simply a singer or dancer. He’s a public personality now. In some ways, his growing success, I think, mirrors Madonna’s.

3. Jay-Z

This is a dude who’s altered the commecial hip-hop landscape dramatically. He doesn’t show too much loss of steam, nor does the credit and respect he gets in the media.

4. Eminem

Similar the rational in selecting Justin Timberlake, I think Eminem has the potential to make it too. As a rapper, he’s already successfully reinvented himself twice. I think that’s a good sign. He’s likely to continue recording albums that impress us and when lose interest, I’d bet he reinvents himself again.

5. Britney Spears

This is a horse I’d put my money on. For the last 10 years she’s been putting out hit records and performing for huge audiences. Her name and reputation have been through the mud and out again several times already. But she seems to continue to bounce back in popularity.

6. Coldplay

Like, Britney Spears, Coldplay has been putting out hit records for nearly ten years. Even though the face of their genre has shifted, they’ve managed to stay relevant. However, I have my doubts on this one since their core sound hasn’t changed much.

Well that’s about it for my best guesses. Who do you think will make it?

The past couple of days I’ve been posted about things that have been stupidly Christianized and I plan to continue on that soon. But in the mean time, I couldn’t pass this up. Have you caught the latest cover of Newsweek? Seriously, I burst out laughing in the middle of the grocery store and immediately uploaded it to Facebook.

Without actually reading the article, Newsweek seems to be warning us that our babies may be racist.