From the time that I was doing small group ministry, I doubt that I can count on two hands the number of times I was accused of being a cult leader. Either to my face or as vague rumors. Of course, it was a combination of flagrantly abusing the word ‘cult’ and not quite knowing how to respond to a really tight knit small group.

We never passed around poison juice. We never entered into death pacts. Although, one time I did shave my head which, over the next few days, was copied by a number of the guys.

Even though the group had it’s problems and I still had a lot to learn about leading people (and still do), the reality was that good things were happening. The guys in the group and myself were learning a lot about what it meant to follow God and be a believer and have faith.

But every time one of these cult rumors would spread, on the outside I would laugh it off. But on the inside I was really insecure. I didn’t want people to think that about me. Eventually, criticisms like those caused me to respond at least a little reclusively. Reading in Nehemiah today reminded me of that time in life and ministry.

Nehemiah is rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem in the face of pretty heated opposition from it’s neighbors. After trying to convince him to stop several times before, a group of men write a letter to king Artaxerxes full of slander that, although from the outside it appears as though it could be true, it simply isn’t. The men present Nehemiah with the letter their threatening to send.

Then I sent to him, saying, "No such things as you say have been done, for you are inventing them out of your own mind." For they all wanted to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will drop from the work, and it will not be done." But now, O God, strengthen my hands.

In hindsight, I would have liked Nehemiah’s insight and wisdom to take the accusations from his opponents and turn with them to God and say, “But now, O God, strengthen my hands.”

I think that’s pretty cool. Live and learn, I suppose.