I don’t notice when I’m not sick. Inevitably, at least once a year, I think to myself, “Gosh Bill, you’re practically always sick.” This is usually during the worst of a bad cold or, at worst, the flu.

Well, last week I was sick. Then I started to get better. Now, I’m sick again. As I was laying down this evening to take a nap, I caught myself in that annual thought, thinking, “Gosh Bill, you’re always sick! What gives?” Then it occurred to me what was really going on. I only notice when I’m sick. I never lay healthy in my bed at night thinking, "boy it sure is nice to be healthy.”

From that, I thought about spiritual health. Most of the time, if I’m doing “well”, I don’t even notice. Sure, I stick to the basic spiritual disciplines, but my heart only kind of goes into it. But, in the times of struggle—apparent struggle—that’s when the spiritual disciplines I stick to really mean something.

It would seem that the reality is that in times of struggle and (seemingly) uphill battles with sin, the weak but real dependence on God is far greater and stronger and better than all the self-sustained “healthy times” combined. In fact, the times of potent reliance on God because of some trouble—even when I myself am the cause—is usually the real health.

I suppose the real difficulty is in learning to embrace times of difficulty, allowing holiness to grow from it—all the while, not slipping back into spiritual “health”.