I had a brief conversation with a friend tonight. He is involved in a ministry that’s trying hard to learn how to build richer community. Apparently another member of the ministry handed him a book—something like The Seven Deadly Sins of Small Group Ministry. I can’t be sure that’s the title, but it sounds right.

Now, I can’t say much for this book in specific. But it seems to be part of the big problem of over-complicating the concept of “community”.

I’ve been involved in a handful of fairly successful communities. By which I mean to say that they were fruitful, not necessarily that they lasted a long time. While they were different in their own respects, they all had two basic things in common.

1. Time

Authentic community simply doesn’t happen unless people will give their time. If community is reduced to the three programmed small group hours on a Wednesday night, then at its heart, the community is no more than a program demanding little more from it’s participants than their attendance. This is the way most churches do it. It doesn’t usually work.

Even when couples move into married life, time becomes a precious commodity. But, if community will leave a lasting impression, time has to be given.

2. Give a crap

The rest is pretty easy. Or it’s supposed to be. When you’re giving time to being in community, whether it be for dinner or a game of kickball or whatever, just give a crap about the people around you.

When someone says something, listen and care about it.

I think that if we get these two things right, there isn’t much need for The Seven Deadly Sins of Small Group Ministry. The elements are there, it’s just a matter of wading through the mess that is human relationships.

That’s my two cents.